Here's a variation on the "saying no" theme, from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and it's all small stuff, by Richard Carlson. The chapter title is If Someone Throws You the Ball, You Don't Have to Catch It.
... suppose you are really busy when a friend calls in a frantic tone and says,"My mother is driving me crazy. What should I do?" Rather than saying, "I'm really sorry but I don't know what to suggest," you automatically catch the ball and try to solve the problem. Then later, you feel stressed or resentful that you are behind schedule and that everyone seems to be making demands on you. ...
This doesn't mean you never catch the ball, only that it's your choice to do so. Neither does this mean that you don't care about your friend, or that you're crass or unhelpful. Developing a more tranquil outlook on life requires that we know our own limits and that we take responsibility for our part in the process. ...
If I caught all the balls thrown in my direction, I would certainly go crazy - and I suspect that you would too. The key is to know when we're catching another ball so that we won't feel victimized, resentful, or overwhelmed. ...
Even something terribly simple like answering your phone when you're really too busy to talk is a form of catching the ball. ...
I hope you'll experiment with this one. You may find that you catch the ball a lot more than you think you do.
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